A lack of self-confidence is one of the biggest obstacles to reaching your goals and pursuing your passions and purpose. Each time you put yourself out to the world, it feels like a risk. But unless you do take that risk, you don't allow yourself to make your dreams a reality.
Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities and judgement. So, how do you build that trust in yourself?
Get in touch with how you feel when you're not confident
It can feel like anxiety, nervousness, fearfulness, worry or simply feeling resistant to taking an action.
Once you're clear on how it feels when you lack confidence, you want to shift into a better feeling place. Using our trusty law of attraction processes can come in handy here. Pre-paving is a process that allows you to rehearse a situation before it happens.
Pre-paving is simply feeling and thinking of everything going your way before an event occurs.
So, before publishing that novel, giving a presentation, going on a job interview or any situation where you want to feel confident, pre-pave by thinking of all the good things that you want to occur. Practice "skipping to the end" and getting in touch with how you expect to feel with everything working out for you. See in your mind's eye the events, people, and outcomes you want. Imagine yourself standing tall, feeling confident. See people smiling and nodding. Imagine yourself very relaxed and clear minded. Imagine the feeling of satisfaction you have with a happy outcome. The idea is to do a mental rehearsal that feels really good to you. Have fun and play with this!
Stop comparing yourself to others
You are a unique individual with your own contributions to make and your own timetable. Own that thought! Even if you think others are more accomplished than you, don't sell yourself short. I've been in several situations where I thought I was in over my head and others were better than me only to find out my contributions were deeply appreciated. You have your own style and it will resonate with your "tribe."
Pay attention to your thoughts
How much negative self-talk is going in your head? Shift your focus to what you DO like about yourself. What skills, talents or qualities do you have that you are proud of? Make a list of them and refer to it often. Remember you are a work in progress, so forgive any mistakes, look at what you learned from them and be proud of your growth.
Deliberately shift your thinking away from questions that drain confidence to questions that empower you
Instead of, "Why do I always feel this way?" try "How would I like to feel?" Instead of "Why does this always happen to me?" ask "What do I have to learn from this situation?"
Think back to times when you have felt confident
Even if you have to go way back in your history, there is a time when you felt confident. Bring that feeling of confidence into your body and practice it. If you really can't remember a time of feeling confident, imagine what confidence feels like and practice that.
You can train yourself to be more confident. Take small steps that are just outside of your comfort zone. You'll soon get the feedback that you can do and be more than you thought.