Although I am no expert on Love, I have learned a few things in life that I want to share with you. These are lessons that I wished that my parents had told me, for it may have saved me a lot of pain. Although, perhaps there is value in the pain suffered at the hand of grueling relationships, and the soul wishes for us to grow and become more loving through these difficult life experiences. The arena of romantic love is an incredible opportunity for stretching your ability to love unconditionally.
A partner is bound to trigger some long forgotten hurts and inadequacies. These are based on your warped sense of self that was acquired from a childhood where your very own parents did not even fully know how to love. Nor did they know how to be love or teach you about the true nature of love. When we remember that our very essence is love, we stop seeking it from others and learn to be present instead. Our motivation for being in relationship shifts the moment we acknowledge that we are complete and always have been.
Consider for a minute how you are programmed from all those Hollywood movies that you must find your "other half" so that you can feel whole and complete in life. Feel how untrue that really is. Your soul knows that you are enough and have value just the way you are. You came into this world complete and perhaps the purpose for having a partner is to simply complement one another so you can each shine your gifts more brightly and enjoy the journey of life with a friend and support. Keeping that in mind, I have learned some valuable lessons about love that I want to share with you during this season of love.
- Love is not enough to make a relationship work.
- Simply be who you are and see who stays around.
- Love needs no defense. Give up defending your position and just be love. It is more important that you are happy than that you are right.
- When someone lashes out at you or you lash out at someone else it is because either they or you need love. Strive to stay in your heart and feel love for the other and / or for yourself even if they or you are unkind.
- You must be willing to give up control in relationships- they have a life of their own.
- Your happiness and self-approval does not depend on anyone else. True intimacy begins with yourself. Learn to enjoy time being alone with yourself.
- It is never a mistake to love. The soul knows the reasons why, even if you don't.
- Love without attachment and love others exactly as they are.
- Love is demonstrated and felt more through positive actions than through golden words.
- It is enough for you to be a living expression of love; you don't have to earn it.
- It's OK for you to say you're sorry and to accept an apology from your partner. You are both entitled to a "Do-over" when necessary.
- Let go of past hurts and negative beliefs about relationships and be present in love and trust with your partner.
- Don't ever be in too much of a hurry to hug the ones you love and to say, "I love you."
- The forms and actions of this world like bodies, sex, and food, may be illusions but they are made real by love. Sacred sexuality with love may very well be one of the closest experiences of knowing your Divine nature while being in a physical body.
"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone gives you courage." - Lao-Tzu