Let me ask you...do you know how many hours a day you SHOULD be spending on your marriage?
A happy, healthy marriage requires that time is spent WITH each other, ON each other and FOR each other. Unfortunately, most couples forget this and focus on other things they consider (at the time) to be a "priority".
So just what are some of the demands are married couples faced with?
- Planning and attending the children's events
- Fussing over wedding, shower, christening, birthday and anniversary gifts for loved ones
- Taking care of pets and day-to-day household chores
- Maintaining the home and vehicles
- Attending and preparing for church related events and gatherings
- Spending time with extended family and friends
Add to this the fact that some couples are faced with serious "road blocks" that put a great deal of pressure on their marriage such as:
- Dealing with a serious illness in the family
- Elderly parent moving into the house
- An affair
- A serious accident
- Financial struggles such as bankruptcy or maxed out credit cards
- Loss of a child or loved one
- And the list goes on...
In order to put each spouse's time into perspective, let's take a look at what they do during a typical 168 hour week:
Activity Time Spent Time remaining in the week
Sleep: 8 hrs/day | 56 hrs/week - *112 hr remaining
Job/Travel: 9 hrs/day | 45 hrs/week - *67 hrs remaining
Eating & Prep: 2 hrs/day | 14 hrs/week - *53 hr remaining
Kids issues & events: 3 hrs/day | 21 hrs/week - *32 hr remaining
Household maintenance: 1 hrs/day | 7 hrs/week - *25 hr remaining
Phone conversations: 1.5 hrs/day | 10.5 hrs/week - *14.5 hr remaining
Friends/Social life: 1.5 hrs/day | 10.5 hrs/ week - *4 hr remaining
And where do those last 4 hours go?
According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than four hours of TV each day (28 hours per week / two months of non-stop TV-watching per year). Let's not focus on the idea that in a 65-year lifetime, a person will have spent nine years in front of a TV!
But let's not assume that you are the average TV watcher. In fact, if you're reading this article, you're probably not watching anywhere NEAR that much TV. Instead, ask yourself: Do you have enough time for a good marriage?
To answer this question, we'll need to discover what a "good marriage" REALLY is, and then we'll discover the actual amount of time a "good marriage" requires in terms of hours per week. I have worked for many years now teaching married couples what they WISH they had learned BEFORE they got married.
I can explain what a good marriage is based on and what men and women need to be happy in marriage. In fact, I'll get right down to it....
A man needs sexual intimacy and respect.
A woman needs financial security and emotional security.
When I work with couples, I give them these definitions and then ask them to give me a percentage on how much they are getting these needs on a 100% to 0% scale.
Over the years, I have found that in all good marriages, they each give me a rating between the 80% to 100% range. This means that a husband's wife builds him up, overlooks his faults, looks for what's good about him and takes a genuine...well, let me not waste words.