Does the following statement feel familiar to you?
"I don't need a man to do anything for me. I feel more comfortable doing everything on my own. I like to be in control."
If you are anything like how I was, your answer is yes.
I thought it would be very strong of me to never let a man do anything for me.
I thought it would make me attractive to men.
"No you don't need to come pick me up, I can drive myself."
"It's OK that if it's -10 degrees outside, you sit in the car, I'll pump the gasoline."
"I can pay for my half of the bill."
And the truth is, yes of course I could do any of the above. Nowadays we ladies can absolutely do anything. We have the financial freedom and have learned independence from a very early age.
This makes us women very very powerful at our jobs and other areas of life that require our masculine energy.
But does it help us when it comes to love and romance? I'm afraid not.
One of the guaranteed ways that men feel super attracted to their women and stay in love with them is when they know they can do things for their ladies - and in return they'd have happy women. Women who appreciate this masculine trait of theirs which they happen to be very proud of.
And on the contrary, when they feel like their presence in your lives doesn't make a difference - when they feel that they are not needed - they feel useless and ultimately their attraction towards their partners fades away. As they feel less motivated, they offer to help us less - and we women start to feel resentful as we perceive them as lazy and unloving.
Allowing a man to step up and do things for you in your relationship is a very powerful feminine quality. When you allow a man to offer his help and advice, he feels that you trust and respect him. Both are on top of his list of what he needs from his romantic partner.
So do allow him to feel needed:
- Smile when he opens the door for you
- When he offers to bring you tea, say: yes, thank you!
- Allow him to carry the heavy grocery bags for you
- Let him drive
Trust me, he'll love you for it. And remember while showing him he's needed and appreciated, don't ever come from a needy place.
A needy vibe would look like:
- You feel broken without him and your happiness depends on what he does for you.
- You need him to not have a life of his own and need his attention to be on you 100% of the times.
- You depend on him financially and emotionally.
This vibe is an absolute attraction killer, and will push him far away.
Remember that when your man is giving to you - when he puts gas in your car - gives you a foot massage - takes you out for dinner so you wouldn't have to cook - this is him telling you: "let me fall more in love with you". So please let him. Allow him to do things for you so he can feel more attracted to you.
Written by: Shahrzad Parandeh