That's a loaded topic.
Especially, if you're busy professional women trying to do it all.
After all, every woman knows that if she does everything right and is perfect in all ways that she'll be deserving of love and get the love she wants.
Being perfect will not get you loved.
In fact, trying to be perfect makes you irritable. It makes it challenging for other people to be around you. And that makes you one of the most difficult people to love.
So, stop striving for perfection!
Instead, embrace your imperfections.
What Causes Women to Strive for Perfection?
To embrace and love your glorious imperfections you must first understand what's driving your strive for perfection.
In a word: fear.
As women, in general, and busy professional women particularly, the number one fear that drives our strive for perfection is the fear of not being good enough.
The judgment from others of not being good enough as a:
- Business owner.
- Career woman.
The judgment of self as not being good enough as a:
For many women, the fear of not being good enough came from people we loved or looked up to who wanted us to be, do, or have more. Although seemingly innocent and clothed in the 'sheep's clothing' of good intentions, the wolf at our heels frayed our self-confidence and germinated our distrust of self and others.
For other women, being self-confident was neither modeled nor valued. As a result, being 'perfect' meant being like someone else they heard praised for their perfection.
Either way, "The condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects," as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is an impossible ideal.
Why Being a Perfectionist Is Bad for You
You miss out on RREP&A.
That's rest, recovery, ease, peace and acceptance.
As busy professional women, we need RREP&A.
Without it, we are:
R stands for restless,
R stands for relapse into poor health, feel
E stands for embarrassed, become
P stands for panicked and have
A stands for anxiety.
When that happens, we experience Adrenal Fatigue, hormonal imbalances and become bitchy to others.
Three Steps to Embrace Your Beautiful Imperfections
Step 1: Love yourself
The first step is the hardest. It is the step that cracks open any resistance you have to the following steps.
First, love yourself. You simply must. There's no beating around the bush about it. So, I'll come straight down the center about this: without self-love, there's no love. I know. That's a big one to swallow.
Here's how you do it: One afternoon, curl up on the couch with a cup of tea and a pad of paper and your favorite pen. Begin making a list of all the things you've accomplished in your life. List everything great and small.
Wow! Right? Look at how much you've accomplished! It's pretty awesome!
Now, re-read the list and acknowledge all you've accomplished. Let it sink in. The first step to embracing your beautiful imperfections is first love yourself.
Step 2: Take care of your love
What the heck does that mean?
It means to respect and honor your body and emotions. And to take time to treasure and honor the body and emotions of special people in your life. Your significant other, children and dear friends are all to be cherished.
Here's how to do it: Nourish your body with good food, trust your intuition, speak your truth and honor the truth of others, respect one another's body, and lovingly support one another in meeting needs in healthy ways.
Step 3: Love your imperfections
The heart of this article is to realize that your imperfections are, in actuality, your own personal, unique perfections. They're what make you who you are. They are as individual as snowflakes and as precious as diamonds. Embrace your diamonds and snowflakes.
Your imperfections are your lessons. Think of them as guides along your path of accomplishments.
Here's how you do it: Remember that list you made in Step 1? Look over that list. Pick out five that you are proud of accomplishing. Write them down on five separate pieces of paper. Then, list the 'mistakes' you made along the way that caused you to achieve your accomplishments.
See? Each 'mistake' was merely a stepping-stone toward your amazing accomplishments.
Love your imperfections. Embrace them. Honor them for how they've helped you to become the self-confident professional woman that you know yourself to be. Loving your perfections is freeing. It gives you permission to take the pressure off yourself and relax a little. Follow these three steps and embrace your imperfections now. It will free you to soar within a loving inner space.